I had a long phone conversation with my mother this morning. I sat with my husband at breakfast while we reviewed the day before (we hadn’t seen much of each other), and read the paper together (yes, we still read the paper, as well as reading Times Reader on the internet). I reviewed my notes and slides for my afternoon webinar, and then I panicked.

I have a free day.

I don’t normally have free time, so this is always a condition that causes anxiety. I want to fill it up with lists of stuff to do, people to see, projects to complete, and things I can check off of my lists. As I was making a cup of decaf, rather than walking downtown for my morning caffeine jolt, I realized that I could take the whole day (or most of it) for myself.

This was one of the things my mom and I talked about. When I reached her it was 11 AM her time, a time when she would usually be out running her community (this is only a slight exaggeration). “Oh,” I said, “you’re having a home day!” “Yes,” she replied with no apology. This is NEW for my mom, who passed on this busy gene at least to her oldest daughter and middle son. Our busy genes have worked overtime to enable us to accomplish quite a lot. My brother is still biking every day, sailing his sailboat across the Atlantic in the fall, and building cabinets and attaching crown molding after a very busy and successful career. I, two years older, am still HAVING a career and loving all that I do.

I’ve said sometimes derisively about my mother, “She does not self-reflect. She doesn’t want to so she makes sure there is not an extra minute when she might.” I’m pointing one finger at her, and of course, three fingers at myself. Writing is my form of self reflection and so today I realized that I had time to think and write about the 10 Daily Habits I’d like to create as part of my coach certification assignment. Then I’d like to take another stab at outlining a book about change when we are older than 50. I might even finish the book by my bedside that I’ve been too tired to read at night. That might be going too far.