I notice really stunning looking women with gray hair. I especially notice the ones with geometric cheek bones and salt and pepper short, sleek styles. I’m jealous. I’d like to wear my hair that way too. It says to me, “I love the way I look and to hell with all of the stereotypes that say I should look any different.”

I went gray about three years ago. I don’t have that wonderful strong wire-like hair it takes to pull off the red lipstick, sleek short hair look. Mine is baby fine and white in the front with a brown underlayer in the back. In order to keep peace at home, my hair is longer than I’d choose to wear it, but not long by any measurement. It covers my ears and mostly covers them in curls (completely chemically induced, as my hair is straight as a ruler). I get many compliments. A striking woman at one of my workshops said she only needed my example to have the courage to go from electric purple red to gray.

My best friend who is somewhat younger than I warned me that I would be perceived differently in professional environments and that I might not like how I was treated. Since I do at least a third of my professional work with her company, that hasn’t been a problem. The remaining 2/3 of my work is online so I can choose to be seen or not (by my computer camera).

I don’t want to be younger. I don’t even want to look younger. I do want to be considered beautiful until the day I die. For me, gray hair is part of my age-appropriate beauty, and part of the beauty I admire in others like Helen Mirren at right.