I’ve said before that positive psychologists find us mature adults happier than our younger colleagues, friends and children. What strikes me increasingly, though, is that there is a difference between our happiness and our joy. This is an important distinction when I think about making significant personal changes.

Happiness, to me, is momentary and a gift. I’m happy when my grandson calls. I’m happy when my husband tells a joke or walks across the room just to kiss me. I’m often happy in my work, and I’m happy when I spend time with a friend or a group of stimulating people. I can cultivate these moments, as the psychologists tell me, by practicing gratitude, being aware of the great goodness in my life, and helping others.

Joy is a practice. It has persistence. We must go for joy with commitment and after deep self-reflection. I am drawn toward certain kinds of work that make me feel alive, productive, and curious. When I do that work, I feel joyful. Joy pulls me towards certain people, places, experiences, and activities; it’s the juice of my mature life. My intention when I began to make changes a year ago was to increase the amount of joy in my life, not necessarily the amount of happiness. I had happiness. I wanted full engagement with life in ways that felt uniquely mine–my work, my family, my purpose. I’m not always happy being on and doing this journey, but these days, I almost always have joy.