There must be as many reasons to change as there are changes.  It is therefore hard to fit peoples’ stories of change into nice, neat little cubes, like the shoeboxes I just saw featured in the Chronicle with clear plastic ends for labeling or sliding a photograph of your shoes into.  Can you imagine being this organized?  Or this obsessed with your shoes (I am this obsessed, but my shoes are in messy piles in my closet).

From the stories I’ve gathered from people over 55 who have answered the questionnaire on this website and the qualitative version that allows more storytelling, (I’ll send this one to anyone who wants to tell me a story of change) I’ve sorted the stories under seven themes.  Here is the sense I make of each of them:

Time

We have both less and more of it.  We know because of our own experience and the experience of friends that we are, in fact, mortal beings.  We’re aware that we have a finite amount of time (approximately 100 years at our upper human limit) to accomplish whatever we believe we were put on this earth to do or be.  We also have more time due to changing and possibly diminishing work schedules, no work, and changing and perhaps diminishing family responsibilities. This gives both urgency and freedom to change now.

Money

The recent financial crisis has changed what people reported a year ago.  There is more concern now that our assets may not last through our lives and that some change in lifestyle may be necessary.  Money seems to engender a survival mentality for some, a source of adventure for others, or acceptance for still others.  Money may enable change or demand it.

Health

For most of us this is a present rather than a future concern.  We may be vigorous and joyful, and there are still arthritis, prostate problems, or some nagging back pains that take our attention at least some of the time.  Our health issues also overlap with our sense of time insofar as we want to change.  We know the machine is slowing down and we may want to maximize its capability for as long as we can with meditation, exercise, better eating habits or mindful decision-making.

Faith/spirituality/religion

I was surprised to read in Aging Well by George Vaillant that religion and spirituality were not big issues for the three populations studied for this longitudinal Harvard research project.  For those who have responded to me, and for me, religion and spirituality are major themes.  Whether we continue to be comforted by our lifelong religious tradition, or are moved by our search for some new definition of spirituality, we feel both the freedom and the desire to pursue this foundational aspect of our identity.

Passion/goals

My brother has two: ride his bicycle across the country, and sail his boat across the Atlantic.  He’s planning the second for later this year.  I had three a year ago–lose 30 pounds, improve my relationship with my husband, and find a satisfying spiritual practice.  I’m pursuing all three.

Relationships

For most of us, these take a front seat where for some period of time they have had more of a back seat.  We are newly aware of the preciousness of friendship, the comfort and pleasure of human touch, and the delight of grandchildren or nieces and nephews.  Women, particularly, write about developing a more nurturing relationship with themselves.

Not sweating the small stuff/letting go of control OR Being more cautious and careful

Both of these attitudes are represented in my respondents.  Some say they need to be more careful about decisions in general and money and health in particular.  Some say they are now making more decisions based on “what feels right” than they did as younger people.  Many spoke of having a better sense of their core values and being able to stand in those values as non-negotiables.

What themes would you add?  What stories do you have to tell about these themes and any changes you might have made in the last five years?  What do you want more of or different in your next five years?